After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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