dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
