fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
