I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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