I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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