We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
