Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
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