I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
