I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize
