So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
