I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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