PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
