ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
