I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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