He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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