I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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