Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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