I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
