pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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