GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
