So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
