i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
