Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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