Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
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