Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
