what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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