I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
