Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
