Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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