Christians are straight up FREAKS
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
