Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
