hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i barfeds in our rink
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Welp...herpes.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
