I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
