just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the day after is always just damage control
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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