you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
