if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
