lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
