4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
