Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
