he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
