dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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