Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
