There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
