Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
