I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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