You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
