the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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