He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I got her a Nickelback box set.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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