I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
