I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
