Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
