I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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